Friday, 3 October 2014

Days 5 and 6 - the one with a little slip up but also a redemption!

So, the week had been going well - I'd worked out twice "with Lucy" and also spent an evening at the gym.  I'd managed to stick to my "no sugar" rule and was even doing well combining all this looking after myself with doing some studying!

As I mentioned, I'd been invited to a party on Wednesday but, for once in my life, turned it down, because I knew there'd be, well, beer and party food there, and I was determined not to be waylaid so soon on in my 12 week mission/journey/quest/venture...

But, I guess pride comes before a fall, as on Day 5, I realised on my way home that I was locked out of the house and Mr Awesome was at the gym so wouldn't be home for another couple of hours.  What could I do?  There is no cafe, no library, no community centre I could have gone to.  No shops to wander round, no car to sit in, nothing like that at all.  And, it was raining.  Yikes!  I'm afraid to say, I went to the only place that was indoors and dry.  A very small bar in the village.  I confess to having a beer, a couple of slices of pizza and some chicken skewers! Not the end of the world, but not ideal either - especially as my plan had been to exercise as soon as I'd got home.  

Slip ups happen though and I have learned from previous attempts to get fit and lose weight, that in the past, if I slipped up, I declare, "well that's IT there's no point now! May as well just scoff this packet of biscuits that are right here next to me!" However... I'm happy to say that today, Day 6, I did no such thing!  I simply came home from work and did my workout tonight, instead.  It's also now been six days without sugar - chocolate, biscuits, cookies, ice cream, and so on.  So, despite the little "off plan" detour that I took last night, I haven't used that as an excuse to cave in, and I'm still here, marching on.

Tuesday, 30 September 2014

Days 3 and 4 - impressed with my self control!

I have lots and lots to write here, but I went straight from work to the gym (yes, really!), then I got home and had to do some prep for work tomorrow, now at 10pm I am finally sitting down to eat some (healthy!) dinner!

It is all going so well that I am really happy and pleased with myself - not to say utterly shocked by my sudden willpower and self control (for all of four days - yes I hear ya! That is still amazing for me).  I have successfully avoided the biscuit tin at work, I have exercised again tonight, and I have even turned down an invitation to a party tomorrow night - because I know I would have no self control with a beer or two in me and I'd want to eat allll the food!  And let's not even consider how many empty calories would be in that beer in the first place!

Anyway - I wanted to pop in because I said I would log every day, so I'm keeping to my promise!  I have a free evening tomorrow now (due to lack of said party), so I'm planning a lovely long blog to update you all.

Sunday, 28 September 2014

Day 2 - all on track and feeling good

A very quick one here as we had quite a relaxing day - and a good catch up on some sleep - at last!

I completed the first workout of Results with Lucy and I must say I was very pleasantly surprised!  Well, part of the surprise was pleasant - it was a little longer than I'd expected (1 hour!), so perhaps that surprise was a little more like a shock!

The workout isn't one long video, but shorter sections, each around 5-8 minutes long.  These clips focus on different areas of your body, so one would be abs, then we did arms, then legs, and so on - the different clips kept it fresh and interesting.  I found it really good fun (again - as much fun as an exercise video can be, ha!), because it moved at a good pace and I knew that even if I wasn't enjoying a section, Lucy would be moving on to the next one soon enough.

I'm sure I'm going to be sore tomorrow but - no pain, no gain, right?!

I'm also proud to say I made it through the day with no sugar and/or processed food - let's hope I can keep it up!  I know I really need to make a note of my starting weight and, more importantly, my measurements, as I've heard many a tale of people not losing weight but losing inches.  That would be fine by me, if it means squeezing into that size 10 by Christmas then I'm all for it!

Saturday, 27 September 2014

Day 1 (of 84!)

Well, today has been very "on plan" - I've done a ton of exercise in the form of walking - and managed to resist the choc ices and all the other sweets at the supermarket!  Instead I've snacked on a bunch of grapes, two satsumas (first of the season, yay for autumn!) and a small pot of Greek yoghurt.  So, I'm feeling pretty virtuous.

Tomorrow morning (while Mr Awesome is still snoring in bed, and thus the lounge is my own!), I am going to take the next step in my 12 week plan by starting an online exercise programme called "Results with Lucy".  I have to admit that I'm not too sure of who Lucy is (the TOWIE craze totally passed me by), but searching and reading the reviews for her site, in particular the 12 week "Six pack abs" plan, are really good, and so I'm taking the plunge!  

I've signed up and had a quick look around the site, and you workout 4 days a week, using the provided exercise videos that are mixed up and different every day.  so one day might be an arms focus, one day a legs, one day is yoga and one has salsa dancing!  There is apparently  a money back guarantee with the plan so I figured that I don't have anything to lose!

I'm really excited to start getting in shape and will be back tomorrow to report on how I got on with Day 2!

Friday, 26 September 2014

Feeling embarrassed - but hopeful.

Although this blog is anonymous, writing posts and publishing them for all the world to see, does feel a little bit like someone is reading your diary.  And, when you say that you are going to do something in your diary, only it doesn't happen, well, it's a shame but you don't have to worry about it, because apart from you, no one else knows!

And yet, for all its anonymity, admitting on here that basically the last however knows how many months haven't gone to plan - well - it's embarrassing. I try to imagine what it'd be like reading this if it were someone else's blog, and I think that surely I'd have wondered why the other person wasn't able to stick to anything! Why she was finding excuses and complaining!  Well, those are the same questions I've been asking myself too.

It's been the same old story of wanting to change, but for whatever reason, not being able to withstand the outside forces that creep into your life and push aside your best intentions.  Sometimes, these really are out of your control - your boss asks you to stay late, you have a family crisis and so on...  Sometimes, they are things that you should be able to control by yourself - turning down the extra glass of wine or slice of cake.  For whatever reason, I haven't been doing so well at managing the situations in the latter category.

I will say that I am, at least, owning up to it.  And, I'm not impressed with myself, because, yet again, I have let myself down.

Mr Awesome and I had a big chat last night.  He would never say it out loud, but I know he would love (prefer?) it, if I were as enthused about exercising as he is.  I also dare to say he wouldn't mind if I lost a few stone either.  If that's so, then I wouldn't blame him.  He's agreed that he's going to support me from here on in.  After all, it's one thing letting yourself down but it's another story when you have someone to be accountable to.  So, with this is mind, this is our pact:

- To quit/go cold turkey on sugar and processed foods, from now until the end of October (at least, then take it from there - total denial never works as we know)
- To exercise three-four times a week - (at the same time but separately - there are some things he just does not need to see!)

He thinks, and I agree, if we can commit to these changes, then we'll be able to make a significant difference in the three months before Christmas.  And, finally, I am making a promise, not only to myself, but also to you, the readers of my public diary.  I am going to blog about this challenge every single day for the next three months.  There will be no exceptions!    

If you are still out there, then I hope you will join me as once and for all I attempt to lose this chub and get into the habit of exercising and making healthier food choices.  And, I also thank you for still being there :-)

Thursday, 28 August 2014

Better together :)

Wow, so much for a summer "holiday"!  The very day after I wrote my last post, I was struck down by what I can only call "summer flu".  I spent over a week on the sofa, my body aching, my nose continually streaming like a time, violently sneezing, going hot and cold and hot again, and through it all, being unable to sleep for longer than about 4 hours!  I felt terrible. Poor me!

But, once I'd got through all that, then, like I said, I knew I had to make a fresh start.  Although I'd joined up to Slimming World, I was getting a little frustrated with it.  To be honest, I'd become frustrated with all the big diet "plans".  The more I read about them, the less sense they all made.  Take for example:

- The low carb diet.  This says that you can't eat fruit or potatoes, but I can't believe those two things are 'bad' foods for anyone - in moderation, of course.

- Slimming World.  They say that full fat food is 'bad' but once you take the fat out and add a load of sugar, (i.e. MullerLight yogurts and Alpen Light bars), not only is it ok but it's "free" food!

- Weightwatchers.  They say the calories (points) in an avocado should be treated the same as that of a chocolate bar. How can that be right?

And so on... It just made me think instead of all these silly rules and proclamations, I should follow that oft-repeated quote:

I still think that processed food and added sugars should be best avoided, so with that in mind, I cancelled my SW membership (along with its terrible apps), and signed up to MyFitnessPal.  I entered all my details, set a target weight, and it gave me a daily calorie figure, along with guidelines for how many nutrients I should be eating (carbs, protein and fat).  I've been tracking every morsel so far, and have only once been over target - on a day where I was tired and grumpy - think there may be a link!?

Feeling also that things like this are better together, I've also joined one of the many, wonderfully supportive, Mumsnet threads, where we all have quite a substantial weight loss as our goal.  It's early days yet but the scale is going in the right direction, and I am starting to look after myself a little better (more sleep and using up all my many lovely toiletries! Why wait for a special occasion?)

Friday, 8 August 2014

Back from holiday with a new outlook and a fresh resolve

Long time no see bloggers!  I'm sorry I haven't blogged for so long but I've been away on holiday, without my laptop, which although cutting me off from the world, gave me a lot of time to think about things that have been going on in my life over the last few months.

As you have seen from my previous posts,  I have been trying but struggling to make those changes in my life that are necessary to improve it, my health and my body.  It's a common refrain of not having the time, or the energy, but being away from the pressures of my everyday life - and it really has been quite overwhelming in many ways over the last few months (I don't want to bore you with the specifics!) - has really given me time to think, not only about the relationship with myself, but also those around me - namely Mr Awesome.  

I've realised that I haven't just been neglecting myself recently, but I've also been neglecting him.  I fear that I have been a little wrapped up in my own life issues to support him with his.  I also see that in order to support him better, and of course to make my life better, I really need to make my own welfare a priority.  If I'm not in the best condition that I can be, then how can I offer support to others?  If I'm tired, grumpy and sluggish, how can I be optimistic and cheerful - not only with Mr A but with others in my life?

What I'm trying to say, is that I think being away has caused me to have that lightbulb moment, the one where everything 'clicks'.  The one where you say that "enough is enough" but really mean it.  Things can't go on as they have been.  Only giving myself 5-6 hours' sleep a night is not healthy, it's not productive.  Filling my body with sugar and processed rubbish is doing myself, my organs, my joints, a disservice.  Not moving enough, when I have been blessed with health, and (relative!) youth, is an insult to those who aren't as lucky.  I also realised on holiday that I worry too much.  And that has been affecting the rest of my life, to the point where instead of trying to box up a fear and let it go away, instead of taking each day one at a time, I sit on the sofa, trying to replace the gnawing tension in my stomach with a bellyful of biscuits.

Things are going to change.  I want to be the best version of me that I can be!

It's evening here now and we have been travelling for 14 hours, so it's definitely bedtime for me now.  But I've talked with Mr Awesome about all this, and we have made a pact.  No more junk food coming into the house.  More exercise.  Live healthily.  Respect our own bodies more, and in turn I think all these things will improve our own relationship, and teamwork.  I am also going to practise ways of not worrying, such as telling myself, "Can I change it?  No.  Then don't worry about it!"

I can't wait to begin. I'll write more tomorrow after a refreshing sleep!  :)